Etiquette at a Funeral

Like all things, the accepted customs of dress and behavior for a funeral service has changed over time, but common-courtesy never goes out of style. If you're worried about your actions at an upcoming service, or are just curious, here's what we'd like you to know about funeral etiquette.

It is important to be respectful of the emotions of family members, as well as what personal, ethical, or religious considerations need to be taken into account.

Sometimes we are at a loss for words when encountering something as final as death. Simply saying "I'm sorry for your loss" is usually enough. Be respectful and listen attentively when spoken to, and offer your own words of condolence.

These days almost anything goes, but only when you know it's the right thing. In fact, sometimes the deceased has specified the dress code; "no black" is a common request. If you can't learn the wishes of the family, then dress conservatively, and avoid bright colors.

It doesn't matter if it is flowers, a donation to a charity or a commitment of service to the family at a later date; as always, "it's the thought that counts." Always make sure to provide the family with a signed card, so they know what gift was given, and by whom. If you're out of ideas, you can use of our partners to deliver food, flowers, or another unique gift before, during or after the service.

Include not only your name, but your relationship to the deceased: co-worker, gym buddy, or casual acquaintance from the golf club. This helps family place who you are in future.

It's sometimes awkward for you to do so, but for most people the grieving doesn't end with a funeral. It's always helpful to leave a condolence, you can easily do so through our Obituaries Page. Just Select a name, and click 'Send Condolence'.*

Don't feel that you have to stay.
If you make a visit during calling hours there's no reason your stay has to be a lengthy one.

Remembering their loved one fondly can mean sharing a funny story or two. Just be mindful of the time and place; if others are sharing, then you may do so too. There is simply no good reason you shouldn't talk about the deceased in a happy, positive tone.

Act according to what is comfortable to you.

If you feel they might be, then leave them with a sitter, or make use of our child-friendly playroom. But, if the deceased meant something to them, it's a good idea to invite them to share in the experience.

Switch it off before entering the funeral home, or better yet, leave it in the car. All too often, we see people checking their cell phones for messages during the services.

Simply say how sorry you are for their loss, offer up your own name and how you knew the deceased.

Everyone does, and you can be sure that an apology may be all that's needed to mend and soothe.

After the service, always remember to continue to offer support and love to family of the departed. The next few months are a time when grieving friends and relatives may need you the most. It's always best to let them know that your care and support did not end with the funeral.

If we can assist you further with any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us at Salandra Funeral and Cremation, Services Inc. at 724-745-8120 or email us at director@salandrafunerals.com